In a world where most people are impatient, patience is a rare virtue. Have you ever found yourself growing impatient
waiting for a colleague to get back to you
not seeing results for your hard work
Seeing someone more successful than you
Instant Gratification
Understanding the art of timing is important. It allows you to work with time and accomplish great things. We live in a fast-paced society where everyone wants to do things faster. Most people are chasing happiness and make decision compelled by a tendency to seek pleasure.
We want our needs and desires to be fulfilled immediately. Many people can’t control their urge to indulge in something that will provide instant gratification. Humans are naturally driven to seek pleasure and avoid pain. It is therefore difficult to delay gratification and waiting is not an option for many.
We all want to get more done in less time. Being impatient is not necessarily a bad thing. What if that impatience was misdirected?
Channeling your impatience
Most people aim their impatience at the wrong targets. We’ve all been there, growing impatient and being obsessed with a desired outcome. Focus your impatience on actions and see what happens.
Why successful people are incredibly patient?
When it comes to results, successful people are incredibly patient as they understand the art of timing. It is hard to not see progress or results when you are working really hard and giving something your all. Most people run out of steam and give up before they see any results. This is because they underestimate the time they could accomplish their goals and grow impatient.
If you want to get in better shape (perhaps a six-pack abs), you might not get there in a day, week or month. You might work out for few weeks without seeing much results. Most people won’t see much change after a few weeks of work out and may give up before achieving their goal. If you are willing to put in the time and work impatiently, you will eventually get in better shape.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Newton’s Law
Successful people understand results come from actions and give themselves sufficient time to accomplish their goals. They are biased to take actions over a long period of time and believe results will follow. Successful people are aggressively impatient with their actions. They have a sense of urgency and don’t wait tomorrow for something that can be done today.
The probability of success rises over time the more actions you take towards your goals. I will leave you with a quote from Naval Ravikant to conclude today’s insight “Impatience with actions, patience with results.”
The story you tell yourself defines your trajectory in life. As you read this article, you are creating a new story and guess who is the main character. You are the most important person in that story. You have the power to choose what the main character does or doesn’t do. Everyday we get to write a fraction of that story on a fresh sheet of paper. Every good story has highs and lows like a rollercoaster. It’s more fun to enjoy the journey than getting to the end of the ride. Learning about this concept of life as a story has been insightful in creating a life that gives me fulfilment and purpose. It has helped me to cast a clear vision and write successive chapters of my story.
How old stories shape your future?
We often draw from our experience to make new decisions. We use the past as reference point to think about the present and future. Experience is valuable as it prevents us from making the same mistakes again. However, not all stories from our past are useful.
In fact, we may cultivate stories that used to be helpful but are now holding us back from achieving our potential. These stories reinforce the assumption and perception we have about ourselves from a very early age in childhood. In other words, some old stories fuel limiting beliefs that trigger thoughts like “I am not good enough,” or “I have failed before, so I will fail again.”
Letting go of an old story
Limiting beliefs are in the way of achieving your potential. You can continue to give power to these limiting beliefs and stagnate or you can change the story. When you recognise and overcome these limiting beliefs, you unlock your full potential.
Everyone cultivates stories that are not serving them. You can replace an old story with a more supportive story that will serve you. I’d like to invite you to ask yourself:
Leadership plays an integral part in the ability to inspire and motivate a group of people to work effectively to achieve a common goal. Great leaders are visionary thinkers who can rally people around a cause to bring about change. In this article, we will look at three traits great leaders have in common.
Leadership is about empathy. It is about having the ability to relate to and connect with people for the purpose of inspiring and empowering their lives.
Oprah Winfrey
1. Empathy
Every great leader understands the importance of connecting and developing shared understanding with their followers. The bond between a leader and followers is something no great leaders take for granted. Empathising with someone is an effective way to demonstrate you genuinely care about them.
“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”
Lao Tzu
2. Humility
Every great leader cultivates a sense of humility, giving credit to his/her team’s hard work for success and taking the blame for failures. Humility is a quality found among leaders who are secure in themselves and don’t need to brag about their accomplishments.
“Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.”
Harry S. Truman
3. Lifelong Learner
The world is constantly changing. If a leader doesn’t keep up with his time, he is left behind. Every great leader is curious and always keep learning. Great leaders embrace lifelong learning and make time to read books. They are committed to keep learning and grow. They are not afraid to say they don’t know and ask for help from people who may be smarter.
Question for you: What are your top 3 leadership qualities?
Are you a GP trainee looking to make the most of your training and excel in your career? Let’s explore practical advice and strategies I would give my younger self. I hope the insights in this article will help you on your journey. Let’s dive in!
Invest in Continuous Learning
Don’t miss out on the chance to invest in your development. Use your study budget wisely to attend conferences and courses that expand your skill set. By keeping up-to-date and continuously learning, you’ll stand out in your career.
Get Involved with Professional Organisations: Consider becoming active in the RCGP (Royal College of General Practitioners) and European Young Family Doctors Movement. By engaging in these networks, you’ll connect with inspiring leaders and make valuable connections within the GP community.
Embrace Challenges and Collaborate
While setting up “Next Generation GP” in Wales, I faced numerous hurdles, including securing funding. However, this experience taught me the power of teamwork and how to pitch ideas to board members and organisations for financial support. Cultivate relationships and epand my network has enriched my career.
Start Your YouTube Channel
Don’t be afraid to start a YouTube channel to share your knowledge and experiences. Many people are too busy to critique your content, so focus on providing value to your audience. Consistency is key, and your channel will grow over time.
Develop Effective Communication Skills
Enhance your speaking and presentation skills, which will be crucial when presenting for awards or panels. You can improve your comfort with public speaking and networking, even if you’re naturally introverted.
Cultivate a Growth Mindset
A growth mindset will empower you to develop in your personal and professional life. Learn, ask questions and speak with more experienced colleagues. Collaborate with specialists when needed, as this holistic approach can be highly effective in patient care.
Prioritise Wellbeing
In busy placements, you may feel overwhelmed. Don’t hesitate to seek help and support early on. Your wellbeing is paramount, and taking care of yourself ensures you can provide the best care to your patients.
Preparing for MRCGP Exams
Take the the MRCGP exams seriously. Plan strategically and use resources at your disposal to give yourself the best chance to pass first time. The curriculum for the Applied Knowledge Test is huge, focus on high-yield topics and apply your knowledge rather than rote memorisation. Utilise active recall and space repetition techniques for effective learning. Don’t get stressed; stay consistent in your preparation.
Embrace the Unexpected
Be prepared for unexpected changes, such as the transition from CSA to RCA. With the right support and patient selection, you can excel in real-life consultation assessments. Don’t prepare on your own, form a study group, seek constructive feedback to identify your blindspots. Trust your preparation and your educational supervisor’s guidance. If you are looking for guidance to sit SCA, you might be interested in our free resources.
Lean into your Passion
As you help other GP trainees pass the RCA, you’ll discover a passion for medical education. Organising courses and mentoring others will become a fulfilling part of your career.
Maximising your GP training involves seizing opportunities, investing in continuous learning, and embracing challenges. By following these strategies and staying committed to your development, you can thrive in your training and build a successful career as a general practitioner.
When was the last time you had a good laugh? Children seem to smile and laugh spontaneously to express happiness, joy and delight. In adulthood, most of us lose that innate ability to laugh spontaneously like a three-year old. Adults laugh less frequently. We learn to control our emotions and are conditioned to conform with social norms. Some people take themselves far too seriously that they forget to laugh. I probably belonged to that group until I realised the benefits of laughter. Adding a dose of laughter to your day can improve every area of your life. It’s no wonder why people look for someone who has a good sense of humor in a potential partner.
Laughter as an antidote
You may have heard this old adage “laughter is the best medicine.” In his classic Best seller, ‘Anatomy of an Illness’, Norman Cousins, diagnosed with a crippling and irreversible disease, claimed that 10 minutes of good belly laughter brought him 2 hours of pain-free sleep. Studies on the potential benefits of laughter are very encouraging. Researchers have found that laughter has the potential to boost the immune system by increasing infection-fighting antibodies.
Laughter improves your mood
People with a sense of humor have a positive outlook. Instead of moaning about the adversity of life, they take a light-hearted approach and see the funny things that arise. They do not take themselves too seriously. A good sense of humor and laughter goes hand in hand. I’m sure you have experienced the overwhelmingly positive emotions from a guffawing that you broke down in tears. Laughter elevates our mood and brings us happiness. You might be interested to read How to Be Happier? for more practical tips to boost your happiness.
Laughter relieves stress
Stress is anything that poses a threat or a challenge to our well-being. Your body reacts to stressful situation by activating the fight or flight response mode. The negative effects of chronic stress are detrimental to our well-being and happiness. Laughter is a powerful antidote in relieving stress. It provides a glimpse of freedom to the subconscious mind and stops us from ruminating about stressful thoughts. According to scientists, the physiological process of laughing tend to reduce the level of stress hormones and relaxes muscle tension in our body.
Laughter strengthens your relationships
Relationships are building blocks to attain true happiness. According to psychologists, having strong ties to friends and family are characteristics of people who appear to be happier. Laughter in a social context is a powerful form of communication. It helps you connect with people. Shared laughter is a great way of cultivating positive feelings in a relationship that fosters emotional connection. The bond created from laughing allows people to express their true feelings and deepens relationships.
Laughter is contagious
We are wired to respond positively to laughter and smile. When we see someone smiles or laughs, we are inclined to smile back. This phenomenon can be explained by the discovery of mirror neurons. These are a group of neurons that activate when we perform an action or when we see an action being performed.
“We are social beings. Our survival depends on our understanding the actions, intentions, and emotions of others. Mirror neurons allow us to understand other people’s mind, not only through conceptual reasoning but through imitation. Feeling, not thinking.”- G.Rizzolatti.
Laughter influences the emotion and feeling of others. Shared laughter creates a positive experience that boosts our happiness.
I hope this article has given you more reasons to laugh. Cultivating a sense of humour is important to your wellbeing. I invite you to share this article with someone who makes you laugh.
Have you ever been rejected? Everyone encounters rejection at some point in life. People don’t reply to your email. People say ‘No’ to you. You didn’t land your dream job. Even the most successful people have to deal with rejections.
Walt Disney was fired for lack of creativity
In 1919, Walt Disney was fired from one of his first animation jobs. His editor from the Kansas city Star fired him due to lack of creativity. That setback could have crushed his dream had he not persevere and continue to work towards his vision. Disney’s road to success was paved with setbacks and failures. Walt Disney once said:
All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.
Ironically, Disney later bought the Kansas City Star newspaper that fired Walt Disney when they purchased ABC.
Harvard rejected Warren Buffet
When we think of the iconic investor, Warren buffet, we associate him with success. At the age of 19, Buffet applied to get in Harvard Business School. He was interviewed by Harvard Alumnus who turned him down. It seemed to be a major failure at the time. Buffet thought:
What do I tell my dad? This is terrible.
The rejection from Harvard became a pivotal point that led Buffet to Columbia Business School where he was taught by Benjamin Graham, the father of value investing. The rest is history.
Dealing with rejection is painful and emotionally hard. It is human nature to seek approval or acceptance for our ideas, actions and behaviours. You might consider rejection as bad and want to avoid it at all cost. If you are not getting many rejections, chances are you are not moving forward in life. Most people will give up their dream after one or two rejections. People who are constantly pushing the envelope get so many ‘No’ that they become used to rejections. The key is to use rejections to fuel your drive.
J.K. Rowling received load of rejections from book publishers
A story that merits telling, and re-telling is that of the Best-selling author of Harry Potter book-series. J.K. Rowling received loads of rejections from book publishers when she first sent out her “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” manuscript. That didn’t stop her from writing to more book publishers. The book was turned down a dozen times before Bloomsbury agreed to publish it. The Harry Potter series has to date sold over 500 million copies. Successful people don’t dwell on rejections. They focus their energy and look forward to knocking on the next door that will open to them. They have self-belief and faith in what they can accomplish. Rowling has posted 2 of her Robert Galbraith’s novel rejection letters on Twitter.
My Experience of Rejections
Throughout life, I have received many rejections. There’s too many to share all of them in this article but let’s discuss the rejections that have shaped my trajectory.
Fear of starting my YouTube channel
Starting my YouTube channel is a good example of overcoming fear of rejection. Before starting to publish videos, I was afraid of what people would say or think of me. What if people don’t like my video? I procrastinated for a long time before putting myself out there as I didn’t want to be rejected by others. Rejection is part of life. Now and again, I get rejection from people who don’t like the videos on my channel. That’s expected because they may not fall in my target audience. If you are a medical student or a doctor working in the UK, you will hopefully find the videos on my YouTube channel useful. Putting myself out there has enabled me to connect with medical students and doctors across the World. I’m humbled whenever I receive a message from you telling me how the videos have helped you.
Medical school application rejection
My Med school application was rejected by three different Medical schools. At the time, the rejections were disappointing such that I started to ask myself: Am I good enough? I learnt from the rejections and gained experience that prepared me for my next medicine interview. This led me to go to Manchester Medical School. A rejection doesn’t necessarily mean you are not good enough. It often is because others failed to recognise your qualities and potential.
At Med school, I conducted a research over a period of 2 years. Publishing a research paper is a tedious process that requires a large commitment and patience. My manuscript was rejected by several editors before a journal agreed to publish our research. Have I given up after the first rejection, that research paper would not have been published in a peer-reviewed journal.
Rejection is not final
Your attitude to rejection is crucial. If you want to succeed, get used to the rejections along the way and keep moving in the direction of your long-term goal. Use these rejections to fuel your motivation. I will leave J.K. Rowling to conclude this article with one of her quotes:
It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.
Join me through a typical day in the life of a family doctor. Before we start, none of the patients in this article are real. They are aggregate patients. i.e the patients are made up but representative of real patients. This is how medical journalists, writers, and doctors deal with patient confidentiality when they discuss patients. Without further due, let’s jump right into the day.
Morning routine
It’s 7:00, my day starts with my alarm clock. The first thing I do after I get up is make my bed. It takes a few seconds. I sit down and meditate for 15 minutes. I use the loving kindness meditation by Emma Seppala. Next, I journal a few lines about things I’m grateful, what I’m looking forward to. At 7.30, I brush my teeth and do what I have for general body maintenance. I drink tea and eat granola for breakfast.
Next, I get dressed and drive to work. I get in at 8.50 and find out the consulting room I’ve been allocated. I log on the computer and have a look at my clinic list for the day. Being a generalist is interesting as I get to see wide range of cases. I look at my mails to check for abnormal blood tests that require urgent actioning.
Morning clinic
Before seeing my first patient, I usually glance at the patient’s record to get an idea of the medical history. At 9:00, I call my first patient. His wife has noticed him snoring and heard him making weird noise while asleep. The man was not worried but came in because his wife kept nagging. The patient described features of obstructive sleep apnea syndrome with daytime sleepiness. I assess him and explain my thoughts. We discuss the implications on his fitness to drive and I refer him to sleep clinic. Once the patient leaves, I document the consultation in his record and make a note of the referral.
Being a holistic doctor
I get ready for the next patient who is an elderly man presenting with multiple problems he wishes to discuss. Being a holistic doctor, I often encounter patient with whole list of problems in my practice. The man had a very long list of problems. He complains of persistent abdominal pain, eye problem, anxiety and so on. An advice I received from a senior GP is to ask the patient to hand you the list and take back control of the consultation. This sometimes help to avoid a consultation from derailing. Due to insufficient time, it is challenging to address multiple problems in a consultation. Most patients are aware that their doctor is allocated limited time per consultation. Sometimes, patients expect to have all their problems sorted in one consultation and unfortunately it is unfeasible and unsafe. I prioritise the most pressing problem and recommend booking another appointment as we need to give enough time to discuss the other problems and unfortunately, we don’t have time to go through everything in today’s consultation. The patient understands and I advise him to book a double appointment to discuss multiple problems in the future.
I’m now running late as the last consultation took longer than expected. I call my next patient, a toddler who presents with urinary frequency. Mum is worried that he has been peeing a lot. He denies any pain or burning on passing urine. Otherwise, the little boy appeared to be well. I ask mum whether we can get a urine sample to analyse. Polyuria could be due to various causes. The urine dip stick was clear, excluding a UTI. Diabetes Mellitus is a differential worth considering in this scenario.
The effects of COVID-19
The next patient is an infant who presents with fever and lethargy. I see her in our isolation room with PPE. Mum is concerned that she has been clingier and is keen to get her checked. The pandemic has drastically changed the way we work at the practice. Patients with symptoms suggestive of covid, i.e cough, fever, loss of taste or smell are triaged to be seen in the COVID Hub isolation room. I assess the patient and was reassured to see she is not as sick as I anticipated. She has a low-grade fever with coryzal symptoms but is alert and active. I explain to mum my impression, the next steps and what to look out for. She is happy with the management plan. A useful resource to improve your clinical skills in assessing children I’d recommend is spotting the sick child. I carry on my morning clinic and see 9 more cases ranging from migraine, hip pain to chest pain.
Home visit
At 12.15, I finish my morning clinic. I have a look at the house call book. GPs usually do their house calls during the gap between morning and afternoon clinic. I drive to do a home visit.
I see a frail woman with bowel cancer whose family members are concerned that her health has been deteriorating. House call is a service to people who are bedbound or are unable to come to the surgery. Visiting a patient at home enables doctors to also see the environment where the patient lives.
Admin tasks
At 13.10, I drive back to the surgery and document my house call. I dictate referral letters for the secretary, go through blood test and radiology results that have previously been requested. I action them. Admin work includes reading clinic letters from hospital that I receive and action. I sign prescription scripts and deal with queries receptionist may have. Then, I catch up with the secretary about referral and queries she may have. I have lunch at 13.45. On some days, I may attend meeting where we discuss specific cases.
Afternoon clinic
At 15.00, I start my afternoon clinic. The theme for the afternoon clinic is dominated by mental health disorders. I see a man with depression and suicidal ideas. He seems to be struggling and needed help. Psychiatry is a big chunk of the workload in general practice. Lately, I have encountered younger people suffering with anxiety and low mood.
The pandemic has caused a huge amount of stress and anxiety and affected the livelihood of many people. The next patient is a teenager with severe anxiety. She has been struggling to go out and is afraid of catching coronavirus. The parent seemed to be at a loss what to do and came to seek medical advice.
The next patient is a woman who suffers with bipolar disorder. She has been struggling to sleep due to overthinking. Having previously seen the patient, I knew her well and built rapport and trust over time. We discuss her problem and look at what can be done to support her. Having continuity of care with my patients is something rewarding. You get to know patients and develop a doctor patient relationship that enhances patients’ experience and care. I see around 10 patients in the afternoon clinic and go over some of the remaining admin work including referral letters, going over blood tests and clinic letters. At 17.30, I finish and drive back. When I’m rostered to work evening duty, I finish later at around 18.30.
Thank you for making it to the end of this article, I hope you enjoyed reading what it’s like to work as a family doctor.
GP training is an exciting journey to prepare you become a GP. As a trainee, you will have various expenses from relocation expenses, medical indemnity fee, purchasing medical equipment, GMC registration fee to RCGP membership fee. Let’s not forget the RCGP exam fees. These expenses add up to a few thousands of pounds over the years.
Relocation expenses
As a junior doctor who needs to relocate for work purpose, you are eligible to claim relocation expenses from your employer. These include removal and transportation of your belongings, letting agency fee and expenses due to preliminary visits. You are eligible to claim back up to £8000 in relocation expenses during your training.
Tax rebate
Doctors can claim tax back on professional expenses such as GMC, Royal college and examination, reducing the costs by up to 40%. There are different ways to claim tax relief for employment expenses from HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC). Depending on your circumstances, a claim can be made online (annual tax return or on a special form called a P87), by post or by phone.
Study budget
GP registrars have a study leave budget of approximately £600 annually. You can use your budget to enhance your professional development. GP registrars interested in women’s health may complete RCOG’s Diploma exam (DRCOG) designed for non-O&G specialists who work in women’s health care. It’s important to remember to use your study budget to cover course or conference fee. The RCGP website is a good place to search for courses relevant for GP. Be sure to plan your study leave early on.
Conclusion
Preparation and planning are vital to maximise your GP training. The paperwork involved in claiming back expenses may seem daunting but might well be worth the effort. Use your educational sessions wisely. Consider attending courses or do something that will enhance your professional development.
Before attending medical school, I aspired to become a generalist. At medical school, my view of General Practice changed. Medical school influenced my choice towards specialist pathway. At the time, specialty seemed to be a compelling choice. Specialty is more appealing than General Practice. Generalists are often underappreciated for their work and their vital role in the NHS. The attitude towards GP made me re-think my career choice.
Considering Ophthalmology
My plan was to become an eye surgeon. I built my CV to work as an ophthalmologist. Ophthalmology is a highly competitive specialty and requires a large commitment. I sat Duke Elder’s examination, presented at conferences, published a research paper on inter-examiner variation in virtual glaucoma clinic and attended microsurgical course. Ophthalmologists need to have very good control of their hand movements and work with precision because they carry out delicate operation of the eyes. I realized that my bimanual dexterity was not great. Could I improve my bimanual dexterity with practice? Sure, I could but it was far from being my strength. The neck and hand aches after practicing simple procedures on a dummy eye made me think of the practical aspects of being a surgeon. The microsurgical skill course gave me a taste of what I would be doing as an ophthalmic surgeon. I found out that I didn’t enjoy it. I firmly believe it’s important to consider a career you enjoy and that plays to your strength. By fulfilling these two criteria, chances are you would be happy with your career choice.
Working in Community
After working in hospital for a year, I got a GP placement in my second year. It was a change to work as a doctor in community. I really enjoyed working outside of the hospital setting running my own clinic. This experience made me re-consider GP as a career.
1. Variety of General Practice
I wanted a career that enabled me to practice the breath of medicine. Being a generalist enables me to see patients from all walk of life. The life cycle of human from cradle to grave is fascinating to see. No two days are the same. The excitement of general practice comes with the wide range of conditions I encounter in a day. I’m always learning something new from the interaction with my patients. Variety is indeed the spice of life.
2. The Diagnostic Challenge
I enjoy the detective work involved in gathering each piece of the puzzle when a patient presents with a new problem. It is interesting to listen to the patient’s narrative and elicit their thoughts, concerns and expectation. It is rewarding to apply my knowledge and solve the diagnostic challenge from first principle. In the community, we do not have full access to investigations available in hospital setting. Sometimes, we need input from specialists who may have more expertise about a specific condition.
3. Health
When I put things in perspective, the life of a generalist seemed balance. My time and sleep are things I value enormously. Hospital doctors are rostered to work night, weekend and bank holidays with little control over their time. Having experienced the negative consequences of working nights first hand I didn’t want that long term. Sleep disorder takes a toll on a person’s health and wellbeing. I value a career which gave me control of my night and weekend.
Conclusion
Choosing to specialise or generalise is a choice that should be weighed carefully. After considering specialisation, my choice to become a generalist has come full circle. I haven’t looked back at that decision. I have begun to realise the GP has an ability to see the bigger picture clearly while the specialist often has a narrower perspective. Generalists are well positioned to recommend patients treatments that suit their needs knowing their personal, family and social circumstances. The great generalists know the limit to their depth of knowledge and are happy to learn and seek advice from specialists. I’m happy that I’ve decided to become a generalist because the career suits me well. Being a generalist is not for everyone. I’m fortunate to love what I do and it is a real honour to be a core generalist.
Can you remember how it felt when you experienced an act of kindness? We take notice when kindness is shown to us because it creates a positive impact to our wellbeing. Kindness is not only beneficial to the receiver but the person practicing kindness also reaps some of the benefits. Research has shown it enhances psychological wellbeing, life satisfaction and longevity.
Common misunderstanding
Being friendly, considerate and compassionate are important human qualities. Some people don’t distinguish between kindness and weakness. They imagine a kind person as someone who is easily taken advantage of by others. This is far from what research shows. Expressing kindness often requires courage and strength in a society so deficient of this virtue. Cultivating kindness does not mean to be weak or naive. Kindness and being strong are not mutually exclusive. If someone tries to abuse your kindness, it’s important to stay firm and not to allow others overstep boundaries. Kindness starts with being kind to yourself.
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Mark Twain
Kindness is an innate ability among humans. Research conducted by Dr. Michael Tomasello of the Max Planck Institute, has shown children are naturally cooperative and helpful from an early age. For example, if you drop something in front of a 2-year old, she is likely to pick it up for you. Being kind is an innate tendency we possess.
Kindness is contagious. Someone who sees an act of kindness being performed can be deeply moved. The warm glow feeling we get from witnessing human goodness inspires us to be kind to others. A random act of kindness can have a ripple effect. It can be a simple gesture that doesn’t cost anything. Give a stranger a genuine compliment, offer someone your pen or send an encouraging email to a colleague.
Self-compassion
According to Kristen Neff, self-kindness is one of the three core elements of self-compassion along with common humanity and mindfulness. If we keep drawing compassion from an empty well, we are at risk of compassion fatigue. One of the hardest things to do is being kind to yourself. You also deserve generosity, kindness and compassion to refill your well. People rarely express self-kindness because they believe it is being easy and complacent. When we are harsh and overcritical, we cause unnecessary suffering and take a self-destructive approach.
In contrast, self-compassion enables someone to be more constructive. To calm your inner critic, replace it with the same kindness, warmth and understanding that you would to a friend who is struggling with a similar situation.
A simple practice
It is vital to treat yourself well in difficult times. Self-compassion gives us support when we most need it. You can try this simple practice without anybody knowing. It starts with a shift in your mindset. Flip the narrative from “poor me, I’m not good enough” to “suffering is part of life, may I be kind to myself in this moment.”
If you want to learn more about practicing self-compassion, watch this 5-minute video guide.
